A Countryside Visit

Jeanne Dorr is a member of the Board of Directors of Lithuanian Orphan Care, a branch of the Human Services Council of the Lithuanian American Community, Inc.

There is another Lithuania; one where the tourist buses won't take you. It is the Lithuania of the small villages, the Lithuania of the friendliest and warmest people you will ever meet. It is also the Lithuania of the greatest poverty - the destination of my first trip sponsored by Countryside Children.

It was a typical day weather-wise - dreary and raining. Two vans left Vilnius around 8 a.m. bound for Charity Day in Varniai in the region of Telsiai. One van was filled to the brim with bags of clothing and other necessary items. The other was filled with people. Both vans were being driven by those who had volunteered their vacation days without compensation.

In our van was Regina Svoba, director of Countryside Children; Terese Landsbergis, member of the Lithuanian Orphan Care Committee and the Lithuanian Scouts residing in Maryland; Gintare Ivaska, member of the Knights of Lithuania in Bridgeport, Connecticut; and Bernardas Saknys, correspondent for Valstieciu Laikrastis (the newspaper which sponsors Countryside Children's Fund). Two other members of the Fund, Danute and Irena, also joined us on this trip.

As you can well imagine, we had a full van. Every inch of extra space was crammed with packages to be given to the families. Now I know how a sardine in a can must feel. Despite the sweater weather, the rain, and the cramped quarters, the mood was high because we were all doing what we enjoyed most - we were visiting Lithuania's children. It was a long trip, about three and a half hours. But I wish I could have taken each and every one of you with me in that van.

The fields looked like they were carpeted with plush yellow wall to wall carpeting. Further along the way the carpeting turned from yellow to white; the yellow flowers were replaced by white daisies. Scattered throughout the fields were windmills and haystacks. Along the way, we passed people working in the fields, and many horse-drawn wagons filled with hay. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? Keep in mind we are about to enter the 21st century, and still most of the countryside lacks indoor plumbing.

At the Varniai local town hall, we were met by the social workers. They invited 31 families to participate in the Charity Day. The usual number of families is 25, but this is a very poor area of Lithuania. The soil is not suitable for farming, and there are very few jobs.

Before we left for Vilnius, Countryside Children prepared huge bags according to the ages of each family member. These particular bags were filled with clothing and shoes from a recent shipment donated by the parishioners of St. Andrew's Parish in Philadelphia and the Lithuanian Scouts in the Washington D.C. area. For Terese and me, it was a special moment to see our local charity put to such good use.

The first speaker was Regina who defined the program to the assembled people. She praised Lithuanian Orphan Care, and explained that without the charity of strangers across the ocean there would be no help for them. We were not there to give them a handout, we were there to give them a helping hand. They in turn were obligated to help their neighbors when they could stand on their own two feet. We were not there to give them a fish; our goal was to teach them to fish for themselves. As simple as this may sound, it has to be repeated over and over to people in Lithuania. The spirit of helping one another was destroyed by communism. They grew up with the idea of "trust no one", "take of yourself", and "don't worry about anyone else".

A mother and son in Varniai stop to talk with Lithuanian Orphan Care representatives. Photo: Jeanne Dorr

Regina instructed the women that they must take care of the clothes they would be given; they must wash them and hang them up. All listened solemnly nodding their heads in agreement. As I continued to look around the room, I never ceased to be amazed at the behavior of the country children. There was no squirming, whining, or running around. All sat either next to their mothers or on their laps Ö but they sat silently.

Regina continued to explain other services available, such as Lithuanian Children's Hope which helps children with severe medical problems. She thanked the American medical teams, especially the Shriners, for helping Lithuania. Included in her praise was Lithuanian Mercy Lift, which has provided transportation for tons and tons of supplies. But the message was always clear Ö if there were any problems, mothers must not be afraid to contact Lithuanian Orphan Care. We exist to help Lithuanian children and their families. Usually it is those who need the most help who don't know where to turn.

The mothers were told to encourage their children to stay in school and get an education. Lithuanian Orphan Care provides student stipends for higher education, including technical training. Parents were urged to watch their children for signs of tuberculosis. Again, if they needed medical help or any other kind of help, they were encouraged to call the fund in Vilnius.

Then came the part I was dreading, but knew was inevitable, we had to discuss it openly in every village - Alcoholism. This is the scourge of the countryside people. We were not there to point fingers or to criticize them. As easy as it is for us to sit in our comfortable homes and shake our heads in disgust, remember that many of these people have no jobs and no hope. Communism provided everything they needed. What it took from them was the ability to think and reason. Also keep in mind that no family receives a cent of Orphan Care money where the parents are alcoholics. Instead we find someone else to handle this money: a grandmother, a priest, or a teacher. The children of these alcoholics are the ones who need you the most. These are the children we have to help break the cycle of alcoholism and poverty.

Both Gintare and Terese spoke about social problems. They asked the women to try to meet at least once a month to share their problems and not hold them inside. There is a tremendous need for women's shelters in the villages; places where abused women and children could escape the violence of a drunken husband at least for a night or two. And the same message was spoken over and over Ö don't be afraid to ask for help.

I spoke briefly on your behalf, the BRIDGES readers. I explained that even though we a re American citizens, our blood and roots are Lithuanian. Just because there is an ocean between us, that doesn't mean that their problems are not our problems. If they hurt, we hurt. I told them of your generosity and the sacrifices many of you have to make so that you can give their children the gift of hope.

The people in this area are rather reserved; they did not share their problems readily in front of each other. Most met for the first time at this meeting. It was after the meeting when we went outside to distribute the bags that we spoke privately with the women. This was when the tears began to flow and there was nothing we could do but listen. The stories were mostly the same Ö alcohol and violence fueled by poverty. The alcoholism and the poverty feed off each other, they breed from one another. Much of the liquor is cheap homemade stuff that sometimes causes illness and even death.

One woman told us how she and her husband and three children live in one room with her mother-in-law. She loved her husband dearly but his mother never lets them forget for a moment in whose house they live. The situation puts a terrible strain on the marriage. All we could was listen and tell her we understood. ThatÒ³ all she wanted from us, she asked for nothing else.

Tears were dried, and the children and their mothers received their bags. To say they were thrilled would be an understatement. Their eyes were wide in amazement that strangers so far away across a huge ocean would be so good to care about them and their children. Now they knew they were no longer alone. Most of the mothers carried their bags home tied to their bicycles. As they left, their thanks could be heard until they disappeared from our sight.

"Love radiates from a child's eyes" Several children in Varniai. Photo: Jeanne Dorr

Because this work was so emotionally draining, we needed some peaceful moments before we took the long ride back to Vilnius. We made our way to a lake to relax. Along the way, we made one "house call". There was a young girl taking care of four siblings. Her mother was an alcoholic and abandoned the family. Her father also drank, but he wasn't nearly as mean as her mother -- so they were glad to be with him. The wonderful news was the father had found a job and things were getting better for all of them. We were also told he wasn't drinking as much. We left them with several bags of supplies. As we hugged them all and drove away, they waved and blew kisses; that is everyone except one little sister who held onto her precious pet kitten. I never saw such love radiating from a child's eyes.

Later, as we walked around the lake, I couldn't help wondering how such a beautiful country on the outside could have so many people living in turmoil on the inside. Yet hope turns to change for many of these Lithuanian people, just as a child's eyes can reflect love for her kitten as she stands surrounded by the daily struggle for a normal life.